The beginning

So I’ve decided to share my story about my life because I’m a survivor of some really bad things that probe the human spirit the will to survive and faith above all faith,can move motivate and inspire a person to achieve there own form of greatness.

Please allow me to introduce myself,I was born William Perry but at the age of 13 I became illiana Emma, I’m withholding my last name because at the present time it’s not important,I’m 36 yrs old and I’m of mixed race and I’m a survivor of incest child molestation and ┬áprostitution.

It started at such an early age yet I can remember it like it happen this mourning see I lived in a war zone but it wasn’t one fought on by many brave soldiers just one me. See one day she called me into her room and undressed me I thought nothing of it because she was after all supposed to love me protect me,mother me but on that day at the tender age of 5 I understood the evils of the human mind and I understood loss because I lost my innocence and it was replaced with confusion anger and loss. She was all I had and I loved her so ,how could she my hero take something from me something I would never regain something that would cause me to question everything in my life and curse me to never feel love ever. I mean everyone that’s ever hurt me abused me shattered me used me said they loved me. On that day I walked out that room with tears streaming down my face empty just a hollow boy who never ever wanted to understand what I understood now.I was nothing because if I was how could the woman that gave me life take it away sort of speak.

I decided then that I was gonna never allow someone to love me or touch me again I sentenced myself to a life without warmth a life that no child should ever have to live,because who would love me know I was a bad boy I was lost inside my head chained by fear to a family that would do its best to take everything from me and move on to have great lives while I lived the nightmare they created for me,they were my boogieman my monster under the bed and no movie screen horror man could compare to the ones who lived one room down.

So I’ll leave this until tomorrow and I’ll put down some more memories, I’m writing them because it’s time to heal time to put my demons to rest and to once and for all live.